Into the Manosphere: Why Young Men Need Better Role Models, Not Louder Influencers

In recent years, conversations around masculinity have become increasingly polarised. Louis Theroux’s documentary Into the Manosphere shines a light on a digital ecosystem that is shaping how many young men understand themselves, relationships, and the world around them. While the documentary explores a spectrum of voices, it also reveals a troubling pattern: a rise in influencers who package resentment, dominance, and emotional suppression as markers of strength.

At Elevate Counselling & Coaching, we see firsthand how these narratives can influence identity formation in young males. But it’s equally important to recognise a deeper truth—these messages are filling a vacuum. If we want to challenge harmful ideologies, we must also offer something better in their place.

The Appeal of the Manosphere

The so-called “manosphere” isn’t a single movement but a collection of online communities centred around male identity, dating, success, and power. For many young men, these spaces offer something they may not be getting elsewhere: a sense of belonging, clarity, and direction.

Adolescence and early adulthood are often marked by uncertainty. Questions like Who am I? What does it mean to be a man? How do I succeed? don’t always receive thoughtful answers in schools, families, or wider society. Into that silence step influencers who speak with confidence and certainty—even if their conclusions are flawed.

Their messaging often includes:

• Reducing relationships to power dynamics

• Encouraging emotional suppression

• Framing women as adversaries rather than equals

• Promoting status, wealth, and control as the ultimate goals

These ideas can be seductive precisely because they are simple. They offer a clear identity in a confusing world.

The Cost of Toxic Masculinity

While these messages may initially feel empowering, their long-term effects can be deeply damaging.

Emotionally, young men may learn to suppress vulnerability, leading to increased anxiety, depression, and isolation. When sadness, fear, or rejection are reframed as weakness, there is little room left for healthy emotional expression.

Relationally, these beliefs can distort how young men approach friendships and romantic relationships. If connection is viewed through the lens of dominance or control, genuine intimacy becomes difficult to achieve.

Socially, it creates division. Instead of fostering empathy and understanding, it reinforces an “us vs. them” mentality—particularly in how men relate to women.

Ultimately, toxic masculinity doesn’t just harm others—it limits men themselves.

Why Simply Criticising Isn’t Enough

It can be tempting to dismiss these influencers outright. However, doing so risks missing a crucial point: they are speaking to real frustrations.

Many young men today feel:

• Disconnected from purpose

• Uncertain about their role in society

• Unsupported in expressing vulnerability

• Confused by changing expectations around masculinity

When these experiences are ignored or minimised, young men may turn toward voices that at least acknowledge their struggles—even if the solutions offered are harmful.

As comedian Jimmy Carr pointed out in response to discussions around Theroux’s documentary, there is a danger in only condemning these figures without engaging with the audience they attract. If we don’t provide alternative narratives, we leave young men with limited choices.

The Need for Positive Engagement

The goal is not to silence conversations about masculinity—but to improve them.

We need to create spaces where young men can:

• Talk openly about their struggles without judgement

• Explore identity in a way that allows for complexity

• Learn emotional literacy alongside resilience

• Develop a sense of purpose rooted in contribution, not dominance

This means meeting young men where they are, not where we wish they were. It requires patience, curiosity, and a willingness to listen before we challenge.

Redefining Strength

A key issue within toxic masculinity is the narrow definition of strength. Strength is often portrayed as control, stoicism, and power over others. But in reality, strength is far more nuanced.

True strength includes:

• The ability to regulate emotions, not suppress them

• The courage to be vulnerable when it matters

• Accountability for one’s actions

• Respect for others, regardless of status or gender

• The capacity to build, not dominate, relationships

When young men are exposed to this broader definition, they are better equipped to navigate life in a healthy and sustainable way.

What Positive Male Role Models Should Look Like

If we are to counterbalance harmful influences, we must be intentional about the examples we set.

A positive male role model in the modern day should:

1. Model Emotional Intelligence

They demonstrate that feelings are not weaknesses to hide, but signals to understand. They show how to express emotions constructively.

2. Encourage Respect and Equality

They treat others—especially women—as equals, modelling healthy, respectful relationships.

3. Embrace Accountability

They take responsibility for mistakes and show that growth comes from reflection, not defensiveness.

4. Promote Purpose Over Status

They focus on contribution, values, and meaning rather than external validation or dominance.

5. Show Balanced Strength

They embody both resilience and compassion, proving that these traits are not opposites but complements.

Moving Forward

Louis Theroux’s Into the Manosphere doesn’t just expose a problem—it invites a response. The rise of toxic masculinity online is not happening in isolation; it reflects unmet needs in young men’s lives.

At Elevate Counselling & Coaching, we believe the solution lies not only in challenging harmful narratives but in replacing them with healthier, more empowering ones. Young men don’t need fewer voices—they need better ones.

By fostering open dialogue, promoting emotional wellbeing, and providing strong, balanced role models, we can help shape a version of masculinity that is not only healthier for men, but for society as a whole.