From Silence to Support: Breaking the Stigma Around Counselling and Why Not Talking About Your Problems Is No Longer the Norm

For decades, talking about our feelings was something we kept behind closed doors — if we discussed them at all. Many people were raised believing that emotional pain should be handled silently, privately, or “toughed out.” That belief, while culturally familiar, has contributed to deep stigma around counselling and mental health support.

Fortunately, this is changing. More people now recognise the value of emotional wellbeing and the benefits of talking openly about struggles. But stigma still lingers — and it affects different people in different ways.

The Cultural Roots of Stigma

Stigma around mental health and counselling isn’t just a personal attitude — it’s a social story we’ve been told for years:

• Seeking help = weakness

• “Real” strength is not talking about feelings

• Mental health problems mean you’re defective or incapable

These messages discourage people from reaching out for support and normalise silent suffering instead of connection. A 2025 UK study found that many adults still avoid mental health support for fear of appearing weak or being judged, with more than a third worried about how others would view them if they sought help.

Even though awareness of mental health has grown dramatically in recent years, stigma can still block meaningful conversations and stop people taking that first step toward support.

Why Talking Is Important (and Not a Sign of Weakness)

Talking about what you’re going through can:

• Reduce the sense of isolation

• Provide a new perspective

• Help you process emotions instead of suppressing them

• Connect you with tools and strategies for coping

• Build resilience through shared human experience

Opening up isn’t about dwelling on problems — it’s about acknowledging them so they lose some of their power.

The Gender Gap: How Stigma Affects Men and Women Differently

One of the most striking illustrations of stigma’s impact comes from the difference in how men and women seek help — and how that relates to suicide rates.

Counselling and Help-Seeking

Surveys show that men are more likely than women to perceive stigma around counselling, with nearly half of men acknowledging a sense of stigma compared with around a third of women. And although therapy experiences are equally positive when men do seek help, fewer men actually get counselling or psychotherapy.

Men are also less likely to talk about their mental health with friends or family. Fewer than half of men feel comfortable doing so, compared with roughly 60% of women.

Suicide Disparities

The consequences of avoiding help can be deadly.

In the UK, men die by suicide at a rate roughly three times higher than women. Research suggests one reason is that men often don’t reach out when they are struggling, due to internalised norms around emotional toughness and self-reliance.

When emotional pain goes unspoken and unsupported, it can intensify into crises rather than being addressed early with guidance and care.

Why Not Talking Isn’t the Norm Anymore

Thankfully, things are shifting. Several cultural factors are pushing back against stigma:

1. Public Conversations Are Happening

Celebrities, athletes, and everyday people are sharing their mental health journeys, making it more acceptable to say: “I’m not okay — and that’s okay.” This visibility helps normalise vulnerability.

2. Language Around Mental Health Is Changing

We are learning to talk about stress, burnout, anxiety, and depression in ways that emphasise human experience, not weakness.

3. Resources Are More Accessible

Online therapy, support groups, and mental health education are helping people find support on their own terms — even if traditional talking therapy feels intimidating at first.

4. Stigma Is Being Challenged Publicly

Campaigns and workplace policies increasingly treat mental health as an essential part of wellbeing, not an optional luxury.

How to Support Someone Who Is Silent

If someone you care about finds it hard to talk:

• Listen without judgment — create a safe space

• Acknowledge their courage for sharing anything at all

• Encourage small steps — like talking to someone neutral

• Avoid minimising their feelings — hardship isn’t a competition

Sometimes, people aren’t ready to talk in depth, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to force emotion — it’s to make support feel accessible.

When to Encourage Professional Support

Talking to friends and family can help, but sometimes professional support is necessary, especially if:

• Thoughts of self-harm or suicide arise

• Daily functioning is affected

• Emotional distress persists over weeks or months

• Coping behaviours involve risk (substance use, isolation, impulsivity)

A trained counsellor or therapist can offer tools, perspective, and coping strategies tailored to the individual — and help break the cycle of silent suffering.

Moving Forward Together

The silence around mental health is slowly lifting — and that’s powerful. When we talk about depression, anxiety, trauma, and stress, we give voice to shared experience and open doors to healing.

Stigma once told us to suffer alone. Today, more of us are saying: Your story matters. Your health matters. Your voice matters.

And that shift — from silence to conversation — can save lives.