How to Start Your Journey to Quitting an Addiction

Starting a journey to quit addiction doesn’t begin with certainty, confidence, or a perfectly formed plan. It usually begins with discomfort—a quiet realization that something isn’t working anymore.

That realization might come after years of struggle or in a brief, unsettling moment of clarity. It might feel overwhelming, frightening, or even embarrassing. But it matters. Because recognizing the problem is not weakness—it’s awareness. And awareness is where change begins.

This guide is not about fixing your entire life at once. It’s about starting. Gently. Honestly. In a way that gives you a real chance to keep going.

1. Understand This First: Addiction Is Not a Moral Failure

One of the biggest barriers to recovery is shame.

Addiction is often misunderstood as a lack of willpower, discipline, or character. In reality, addiction is a complex interaction between:

• Brain chemistry

• Emotional pain

• Habit formation

• Environment

• Coping mechanisms

Many addictions begin as solutions—to stress, trauma, loneliness, boredom, or overwhelm. Over time, the solution becomes the problem.

Letting go of shame is not about excusing harmful behaviour. It’s about creating the mental space needed for change. You cannot heal what you hate.

2. Start Where You Are, Not Where You Think You Should Be

You do not need to hit “rock bottom” to begin recovery. You do not need to feel ready. You do not need to know how this ends.

You only need to be willing to ask:

“Is this still serving me?”

Be honest with yourself:

• What does this addiction give me?

• What does it take from me?

• What am I afraid will happen if I stop?

• What am I afraid will happen if I don’t?

These answers don’t have to be dramatic. Quiet truths are often the most powerful.

3. Redefine What Quitting Actually Means

Many people imagine quitting addiction as a single, heroic act:

“I stop forever, immediately, and never struggle again.”

That belief makes relapse feel like failure—and failure fuels addiction.

A healthier definition:

“Recovery is the process of learning how to live without relying on this behaviour.”

Learning involves:

• Discomfort

• Setbacks

• Emotional swings

• New skills

• Repetition

Progress is measured in awareness, not perfection.

4. Understand What Your Addiction Is Doing for You

Every addiction serves a function. Identifying it is crucial.

Ask yourself:

• Does this numb pain?

• Provide relief?

• Create escape?

• Give structure or routine?

• Help me feel something—or feel nothing?

You’re not weak for needing relief. You’re human.

Recovery isn’t about removing your coping mechanism and leaving a void. It’s about replacing it with healthier ways to meet the same needs.

5. Notice Your Triggers Without Judging Them

Before trying to change your behaviour, observe it.

For a few days or weeks, notice:

• When urges appear

• What emotions are present

• Where you are

• Who you’re with

• What thoughts arise

Common triggers include:

• Stress or anxiety

• Loneliness

• Boredom

• Shame

• Celebration

• Fatigue

This is data, not evidence against you. Awareness turns unconscious patterns into choices.

6. Expect Discomfort—and Learn How to Sit With It

Addiction often suppresses uncomfortable emotions. When you stop, those emotions return.

You may experience:

• Restlessness

• Irritability

• Sadness

• Anxiety

• Emptiness

• Strong cravings

These sensations are temporary, even when they feel unbearable.

Instead of asking, “How do I make this stop?” try asking:

“How do I get through the next 10 minutes?”

Techniques that help:

• Slow breathing

• Cold water on the face

• Movement (walking, stretching)

• Writing thoughts down

• Calling someone

• Grounding exercises

Urges peak and fall like waves. You don’t have to fight them—you just have to stay afloat.

7. Replace the Behaviour, Not Just Remove It

If addiction filled your time, soothed your nerves, or gave you structure, removing it leaves gaps.

Plan replacements:

• New routines for difficult times of day

• Healthier stress outlets

• Activities that engage your body

• Small pleasures that don’t harm you

At first, replacements may feel dull or ineffective. That doesn’t mean they won’t work. Your brain needs time to recalibrate its reward system.

8. Don’t Try to Do This Alone

Addiction thrives in isolation. Recovery thrives in connection.

Support can come from:

• A trusted friend or family member

• A therapist or counsellor

• Support groups

• Recovery communities (online or in person)

• Medical professionals

You don’t need to share everything with everyone. You just need someone who knows you’re trying.

Asking for help is not giving up control—it’s taking responsibility.

9. Prepare for Setbacks Without Letting Them Define You

Many people return to addiction not because they failed—but because they believed a slip erased all progress.

A setback is information:

• What triggered it?

• What support was missing?

• What can be adjusted?

Shame says: “You’ve ruined everything.” Recovery says: “What can I learn from this?”

The only true failure is stopping the attempt entirely.

10. Take Recovery One Day—Sometimes One Hour—at a Time

Thinking in terms of “forever” can feel impossible.

Focus on:

• Today

• This moment

• The next right choice

You don’t have to commit to a lifetime of sobriety right now. You only have to choose not to use today.

Those days add up.

11. Rebuild Your Identity Slowly

Addiction often becomes part of how a person sees themselves.

Recovery asks a new question:

“Who am I becoming?”

You are not just someone who is “quitting.” You are someone who is learning:

• Self-trust

• Emotional regulation

• Patience

• Resilience

This identity shift takes time. Let it.

12. Remember: Change Is Possible, Even If You Can’t Feel It Yet

Many people who are now living stable, meaningful lives once believed they were beyond help.

They weren’t special. They weren’t stronger than you. They just kept going—sometimes out of hope, sometimes out of exhaustion, sometimes out of sheer stubbornness.

You don’t need confidence to begin. You don’t need certainty. You don’t even need to believe fully in yourself yet.

You just need to stay curious enough to try again.

And again.

That’s how journeys begin.